This should be a fun and
enlightening article, in today’s article, I’m going to cover 10 situations in
which a girl will sleep with you... even if she doesn’t like you.
If you’ve ever had a girl sleep with
you who didn’t really seem all that into you, and it kind of surprised you she’d
have sex with you... and then you didn’t hear back from her after, or she was
just neutral to you when you ran into you, as if you’d never even spent a night
with your most intimate parts inside her most intimate parts...
chances are, you’ve slept with
someone who didn’t like you (or at least was not excited by you).
Strange, right?
She may have secretly liked you but
you just weren’t able to tell (like I discussed in this article – skim down to
“You Won’t Always Know” if you want the exact spot I talk about that), but for
the purposes of this article we’re going to focus on those cases where she just
out-and-out isn’t a fan (of you).
As guys, most of us are aware that
we do this from time to time – you didn’t really like that girl, but hey – you
needed the bang.
So, you sucked it up, put on your
game face, and pulled it off.
Well, believe it or not, women do
the same thing .
We’ll talk about the psychology of
the various reasons below as we cover them, but as a foundation for thinking
about these, consider this: sometimes, if you talk to enough women , sooner or
later you’ll run into a girl or two who’s willing to do something with you,
even if you’re not exactly someone she’s excited about doing anything with.
Try not to take this personally.
It’s the same as with rejection ; not every gal is going to click with every
guy. And it can often just be that your angle does not appeal to her.
But it’s like being hungry, and
realizing there’s nothing on the table but a plate of some food you’re ‘meh’
on. You may not be excited about chomping on that, but if that’s the only
option, well, you may just take it.
But wait! Don’t women have tons of
offers on the table for sex?
Yes and no.
Yes, any guy a girl walks up to and
propositions, if she’s reasonably attractive, is more likely than not to take
her up on it.
Most girls won’t do this though,
because:
There are ego reasons – she wants to
feel desired, not like some low value undesirable woman who has to solicit men
to sleep with her.
There are discretion reasons – a guy
she approaches is about 1000x more likely to decide she’s a skanky slut he can
blab about banging to all his friends and anyone else who will listen (“Lol,
this girl was hurting for it so bad that SHE walked up to ME! I totally bent
her over the sink and...”)
There are ‘respect for his game’
reasons – she may not like you, but if you’ve got the game to get her in the
sack regardless, you’ll have earned her grudging respect. Not so if she’s got
to go get the guy herself. If you manage to get her in bed despite her not
liking you, the famous female backwards rationalization will kick in and tell
her, “Well, if he managed to get sex with me even in spite of me not liking
him, this guy must have something halfway decent going on about him.” (unless
you do something goofy afterwards and make her kick herself for falling for sex
with this oaf of a man)
Even if she doesn’t like a man, she
at least wants to feel like:
1. He wants her
2. He’s not going to blab
3. He’s got a respectable amount of
game / will be a decent lay
Most men she meets won’t have her
convinced enough of these three (3) reasons for her to go to bed with them, and
if she doesn’t have any other exciting prospects, she may well be ripe for the
picking if you catch her in the right time and place .
Now, let’s talk what those times and
places are .
Remember, people are complicated.
I think a lot of guys forget this.
Just like sometimes you’ll eat that
candy bar because you’re salivating for it, and sometimes you’ll eat it because
you’re hungry for candy in general even if you’re not that excited about that
particular bar, and sometimes you don’t even
want the candy bar but you shove it
in your pie hole anyway (and couldn’t explain ‘why’ even if they offered you an
all-expense paid vacation to explain it)...
People make these same choices
around other things they indulge in.
Sex included.
#1: SHE WAS BORED AND YOU WERE THERE
This one’s arguably the most common
one.
You’re sitting there reading this on
your computer or phone and chances are you aren’t all that horny right now (or
maybe you are; I don’t know). Well, if some attractive-enough girl showed up
where you were right now and started propositioning you for sex and touching
you in an arousing way, and you didn’t have any pressing obligations and aren’t
in something committed, I suspect you’d just say, “Sure, why not?”
For women, a guy who’s confident and
forward and knows what he’s doing is attractive. You can turn a girl on if
you’re doing this to her, as much as a girl can turn you on if she’s doing this
to you, even if you were neither here nor there about her before she started
working her charms on you.
Sometimes, by putting yourself out
there and making an effort to get her, you will win her over and make her like
and appreciate you.
Sometimes she may still think you’re
completely incompatible, and she doesn’t like your opinions or your look or
even you as a person, but your confidence and your touch and whatever else
you’re doing to work your game on her gets her body aroused enough that, if you
make it the path of least resistance for her to go with you, she will just say
“okay.”
Now... if she has reasons to NOT
have sex with you then and there:
Her friends are nearby and might see
She has a boyfriend she’s committed
to
She (legitimately) has to get up
early for work tomorrow
... and the like, she may decide
something like “This is a fun offer, but I can’t right now.”
No worries, that’s how it goes
sometimes. In that case, sometimes you can even trade contact details and
she’ll meet up with you later on for a no-strings, no-hassles romp in the bed
sheets (then, sometimes, never talk to you again, occasionally even if it was
great ).
#2: SHE WAS HORNY AND YOU WERE THERE
Sometimes, a girl is just horny :
How to Tell if a Girl is Horny
Without Her Having to Tell You
What’s the Best Way to Pick Up
Girls? Get the Ones Looking for You
Which Women Want Sex? Here’s How to
Tell
Target Selection, Pt 1: Finding
Sexually Receptive Women
You might think she’ll wait around
to meet a guy she likes. And sometimes she will.
Yet, more often, the cute guy she’s
had her eye on at the bar never summons the cajones to come talk to her. Who
does come talk to her? Some guy she isn’t really feeling nearly as much but he
seems to know what he’s doing (that’s you).
So, she takes one last, longing
glance at that guy she thought was really cute, and then she walks out of the
bar with the other guy... the one she isn’t really into, but you know what? A
girl’s got needs. And he wasn’t afraid to put himself out there and table his
offer. Since the cute guy never bothered to make his offer, and girls are
scared to death of approaching, she took the offer she had, and went off to
shag Mr. I-Guess-He’ll-Do.
#3: SHE WANTED REVENGE
If she’s really mad, she may just
grab whoever’s closest and even lead the pickup herself – this can often be
jarring to experience, even if you know your way around women pretty well.
You’re just not usually expecting to get approached by women and have them
proposition you then and there (and if it happens, you may well assume there’s
some kind of trick or catch – all right, where’s the hidden camera?). Most
women are terrible at leading things towards sex though (since they’re
inexperienced at being in the lead and moving things forward rationally and
methodically), so at some point you will need to take the reins.
What’ll happen more frequently
though is you’ll run into a girl during the daytime who’s a little distracted
and in a bit of a bad mood, but you keep leading and she keeps following and
complying.
Or, you’ll meet a girl at a bar
who’s dressed really nice but she’s standing by herself while her friends laugh
and party – she’ll act mean when you talk to her, but you start leading and,
again, she follows and complies.
In any event, because she’s just
looking for a stiff rod in her nethers to make her feel like she’s sure shown
him, much of the time it’s not going to matter to her too much who the guy is
that comes attached to said stiff rod... and in the revenge case, she may even
actively look for a guy she doesn’t like, all the better to get her revenge
(just think how insulted he’d be if he saw her with this
loser ).
#4: SHE’S JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON
This one’s simple enough... and
deadly effective for your end-of-the-night game, done right.
If you’re at a party or a nightclub
, keep your eyes peeled for a girl who’s by herself when all her friends have
seemingly paired off with someone.
When girls’ friends are all hooking
up, they usually start wanting to jump on the bandwagon and hook up themselves
as well.
Now, a few things to be mindful of
here:
Other experienced men will pick up
on this one too, and the girl will frequently be frustrated and annoyed from
fending off clumsy hookup attempts
She may also be frustrated that she
didn’t get whatever guy SHE liked (or, equally as likely, the guy she liked may
be all over one of her friends, or already left with one of her friends)
She’s going to view you as a kind of
scavenger initially... someone who didn’t have the balls to talk to her earlier
when it was harder to meet her, but now that her friends are all pairing off,
the jackals are out
Because the friends are already far
along their seductions with their guys, and she’s going to be going with them,
you’re typically going to have to ‘tag along’ with their group if you want to
get her, which is going to damage your ability to show leadership and get her
following your lead – important for sex to happen, and especially important
with a girl who doesn’t much like you
For those reasons, this can often be
one of the tougher and more intimidating ‘girl doesn’t like you’ scenarios to
pull off (it’s also a whole lot easier if you met her earlier in the night ).
That said, this one gets immensely
easier to pull off if you can get approval from her friends (which you can’t
always get, especially if you’re joining late and the friends are already lost
in makeouts with their chosen mates). The most consistent way I’ve found to
work these scenarios is to find a group of 3 or 4 girls where 2 of them still
don’t have a guy, and show up with a wingman who’s likeable enough that both
girls can approve of both men.
If you need to roll in solo, this
one’s often a bit harder, but seems to go best if you focus on moving the girl
away from her friends: “Ah, come on, your pals are occupied – let’s go over
there.” When you try just hanging around and chatting with her, you rarely
won’t be able to shake that ‘jackal’ feel, and you’ll end up getting left at
the bar 19 times out of 20. Find a way to take the lead and get her away from
her (busy) friends, if you want her. Though she may not like you, women are
inveterate competitors, and if all her friends are hooking up, she’s going to
tend to want to too. If your offer is the best one on the table, there’s a good
chance you can get her to take it.
#5: SHE’S IN NEED OF VALIDATION
If:
A partner dumped her or hurt her, or
The guy she liked just started
making out with someone else, or
She just got laid off from her job,
or
Someone close to her passed away, or
She just found out she didn’t make
the cut for the grad school she wanted, or
Anything else like this
... she may well be open to or
actively looking for someone to hook up with.
This is one you’ll see some people
refer to as ‘taking advantage’ of a girl if you use it to sleep with her, but
if you’re giving her a great time and making her feel good, and helping her
leave (or wake up) with a smile on her face, well... that’s the kind of being
‘taken advantage of’ most people wake up every day hoping to experience (see: “
Is Seduction Wrong? ”).
Anyway, this one’s pretty
straightforward. Girls in a funk like this won’t usually be looking around much
or sending out signals or approach invitations , so you’ll typically only meet
them during untargeted cold approach .
You can meet them out shopping for
groceries , or looking for a gift for a family member, or maybe at the bar if
their friends dragged them out. They’ll usually look distracted and not like
they have any interest in men (nor you).
That tends to put most men off
(unlike the bandwagon jumpers from #4, with the crowd of jackals they attract),
so she’s usually not going to have any guy approaching her who’s her ideal type
or her perfect match, unless she’s really lucky.
And not every girl who’s had an unpleasant
event like this happen will be open to sex to get over it. Some girls just
close themselves up in their apartments with a giant tub of Ben & Jerry’s
and don’t go out until they’ve watched six seasons of their favorite TV show
and are feeling much better.
But some will push themselves back
into the world, and will be okay with letting you lead them to your bedchambers
if they judge you to be an all right-enough guy.
They don’t have to like you. They
just have to figure you can get the job done and make them feel like women
again.
#6: SHE DOESN’T WANT THE FUN TO STOP
This is usually girls at parties, in
bars, or on vacation (especially party locations where people go to get loose).
In this case, it might be the end of
the night, or it might be the end of her trip, but either way, she’s coming up
on a deadline for the fun to end, and she doesn’t want it to.
This is why nighttime street game
works so well. You can hook up with all manner of girls who don’t really click
with you all that much this way (approaching women at night on the streets
after the clubs have all closed), simply because they want the fun to continue.
If you seem like a fun guy, or
you’re offering a way to keep the fun going, it doesn’t matter if you’re her
Prince Charming or not. You’re the only guy offering her a continuation of the
fun, so it’s either go with you, or wrap up the night’s fun .
And once she’s gone with you, and
the two of you are alone together, then it’s either sleep with you, or wrap up
the night’s fun. If she’s a true party girl , sex with a stranger when it’s
easy and available and the guy seems to know what he’s doing (enough to pull
her home even when she isn’t especially into him) is much of the time going to
be a foregone conclusion. Sure, why not, right?
Hopefully, the sex will be good and
you can help her continue the fun (and end her night in an explosive, rewarding
way).
#7: SHE’S ASSERTING HER INDEPENDENCE
This is a little similar to revenge
and validation, but a bit different.
In this case, a girl is stretching
her wings and wants to feel like she has the power to do whatever she wants...
and whom ever she wants.
You’ll see this one most often with
college girls . It’s why many of them have so much sex so quickly with so many
different men, usually starting around midway into their first year at
university (or occasionally their second, if they’re late bloomers).
When a girl’s slept with 8 guys in a
semester, they aren’t all going to be guys she really likes. And a few of them
are bound to be guys she just doesn’t even like at all . But, the guy gave her
the opportunity, and she took it.
(again, this is why I tell guys to
invite women home – do it religiously.
Do it all the time. Invite at least
one girl home every time you go out. It’s the easiest way to blow your own
mind, once you realize how many girls who don’t even seem to like you will
accept. Women really don’t get enough serious offers coming in... sure, they
get guys who will catcall them or tell them they really want to have sex with
them or whatever, but these guys aren’t making a serious play for the girl and
talking to her and putting out an effort to get her to follow their lead. It’s
a lot simpler to get laid than most guys realize – you don’t need crazy amounts
of attraction. Sometimes you don’t need attraction at all . You just need to
ask )
Other times you will see women
asserting their independence:
Women from small towns who’ve moved
to the big city
Women from conservative countries
who’ve moved to liberal ones
Women who’ve just gotten out of long-term
relationships or marriages
Note on this one: it doesn’t last.
After a while, a girl goes through some men, then gets comfortable with her
independence and assured of it, and she doesn’t feel the need to hook up with
just any old guy anymore. When this happens, she gets pickier, and she’ll be a
lot less likely to sleep with some guy she doesn’t really like... at least, not
for the independence reason, anyway.
#8: SHE WANTS TO EXPERIMENT
This is most helpful if you are
different from what she’s used to:
You’ve got big muscles and she’s
never been with a muscular guy
You’re Asian and she’s never been
with an Asian guy
You’re an artist and she’s only ever
dated business types
Etc. The catch here is you’ve still
got to run decent game – this is a good game + novelty formula that lets you
get around her not having much attraction for you.
If your game sucks AND she doesn’t
like you much, you’re going to have a tough-as-nails time trying to get to sex
with her on the back of novelty alone.
The best angle to work with this
one: just keep stressing the novelty item for her. If you’ve got big muscles:
“Here, feel these. You like that?” If you’re Asian: “Bet you’ve never been with
a guy who’s good at math before.” If you’re an artist: “Let me guess, all you
date is stodgy 9-to-5 office types with apartments in the good part of town.”
The idea is to contrast yourself
with the men she usually ends up with – while implying that the two of you will
get together. In this way, you’re getting around the fact that she isn’t into
you by getting her to think about sex (which she most certainly is into ).
#9: SHE WANTS TO FEEL ALIVE AND MAKE MEMORIES
This one can go hand-in-hand with any of the other motivations from above; however, it is its own motivation and can be enough on its own to get her hooking up with you even if you aren’t her ‘type’ or aren’t someone she’s all that excited about.
There’s usually some kind of trigger
for this motivation. Some of the more common ones are:
She’s recently come into more free
time after previously being tied down with school, work, or other commitments
She hasn’t gone out in a long time
(if you meet her in a bar), or she hasn’t met a man who was a serious prospect
for sex in a long time (if you meet her during the day)
Her friends are all getting married
and she’s decided she’s going to go out and make some memories before she finds
someone to settle down with too
She’s just had something really good
happen and wants to celebrate (she got that job she wanted, got a promotion,
made it into law school, survived something risky, etc.)
The modus operandi for this one is
“You only live once.” If she’s feeling this way, and you meet her, it can
easily be a ‘right time, right place’ scenario for you if you meet her and move
things towards intimacy.
#10: FEMALE COMPETITION AND
PRESELECTION
Women are fiercely competitive :
they will
compete with each other for mates
and will completely change their minds about a man after witnessing preselection
(or negative preselection).
This is why jealousy plotlines are
so effective with women who are resistant to you. If either of the two
conditions are met:
A. She wants you, even a little bit,
OR
B. She wants what that other girl
has / thinks the other girl may be higher status or prettier than her
... then she will go for you when
she starts noticing other women want you.
If it’s A.), she still likes you at
least a little.
However, if it’s B.) , she doesn’t
even need to like you, necessarily; you are just the prize to be won , in this
case as an example of her besting a female adversary.
This is an especially fun one,
because if you can get girls competing over you, you don’t even necessarily
need either of them to like you to hook up with one of them. You just need them
to feel jealous and want to win.
In this case, the ‘winner’ being the
girl who gets to take you home.
Word of caution: if you are less
savvy with game, you can still muck this one up, if you make it too clear a
girl has ‘won’ you before leaving with her. If a girl feels like she’s won and
the other girl is out of the picture, and the two of you are still just sitting
around chatting, there’s no further need for her to sleep with you to prove her
victory. You can still get her if she’s interested in you (you do receive a
value boost from your earlier preselection), but if she’s not interested in
you, at that point she can just leave feeling victorious.
Instead, what you want is to make it
at least somewhat unclear whom you’re going with until you up and leave the
venue with a girl – and at that point, since the two of you are alone, you are
the prize, and hooking up together is now the path of least resistance, it’ll
usually happen.
HONORABLE MENTION: BECAUSE SHE CAN
One more reason: she just can .
A girl doesn’t really need a reason
to hook up with a man now, does she?
If she wants to do it, gosh darn it,
she’s gonna do it.
The only question a man needs to ask
himself is, is he out there and taking the chances he needs to take to
encounter women who will sleep with him... and is he following the steps he
needs to follow to get them in bed (like, inviting them home, for instance)?
Remember , even if she doesn’t like
a man, she at least wants to feel like:
1. He wants her
2. He’s not going to blab
3. He’s got a respectable amount of
game / will be a decent lay
Every day you walk by women who
would sleep with you, if you approached them with the right angle and followed
the right steps.
Doesn’t necessarily mean you’re their
dream guy or their Prince Charming. But you don’t need to be.
Much of the time, for what a woman’s
looking for, she just needs you to be there, and to be confidently and
seriously putting an offer on her table. Most of your competition is too shy,
too lazy, or too preoccupied to notice she’s open to offers; and that’s your
opening.
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