We hosted a radio talk show on the topic: Why Are
There More Rise And Rise In Single Motherhood? And the controversies between
our guests (Men and Women) were recorded. The women were asking the questions
while the men were answering them. Here are the questions below:
Q.
Ladies: Are men raised to be intimidated by ladies, unsure,
have double standards, not being humanly objective but flow with crowd
mentality? All I see is men who are too afraid of women, while women seem
strong because most men can’t hold their own views.
A.
Guys: Some timid men are intimidated by successful and
beautiful ladies, or should I use the word flashy girls. They consider these
women dangerous, difficult to handle and unfit for marriage because they
believe that their success gets into their heads, they believe that these women
think that they have all they want and a man can’t offer them anything they
want, and they only want to bear the tittle of a married woman. It always ends
up with the thought of turning to a slave in their own home. In Africa men and
women always believe that marriages and relationships always have to do with
what the man can do for the woman, you will hear that in discussions, in songs,
movies etc. There is a degree of truth in the way these timid men think, but
the men who thought that they were bold enough to take these successful women
were mostly the ones who live in regrets to tell the stories of how they failed
in their lives. Men only want to be cautious with life until they are satisfied that they made the
right decision.
Q.
Ladies: Cautious with life! That thing you call cautious is
the reason good and resourceful women keep waiting for men to toast them, after
almost 40 they would just opt for having babies. Isn’t the world collapsing
because men can’t go for what they really want? Can’t men have a heart like
Prince Harry – go for your best and boldly get her shunning everyone?
A.
Guys: Marriage is a life time contract, I can’t say
because good and resourceful women keep waiting for men so let me rush into
marrying her which might tomorrow turn sour and full of regrets. We are too selfish
when it comes to our happiness and we are proud of that.
Q.
Ladies: If a man is unsure of his life goal and can’t lead
by taking action, nothing happens especially in the love- relationship-home
circus, we women cry out in pain for men to rise, until then women and children
whimper in pain.
A.
Guys: Men eventually get married, it’s not like we never
settle down, and whom we choose to settle with is our choice and we respect
that, no matter how long we wait to settle is what we feel is best for us. Besides
these generations of men are getting married earlier than some past
generations, from 28 they have started thinking about settling down.
Q.
Ladies: A woman who knows her self-worth is a global
resource without limit and smart grounded men do not miss them because they
know they can ‘husband’ them just like everything in their lives. This kind of
man women seek often is a
game-changer any day…He’s not perfect but is responsible for the outcome
of his life.
A.
Guys: A game changer! You mean a wealthy guy. Women’s idea
of a so-called ‘game changer’ is a man who is successful, a man who commands
respect from his peers, a man who can get whatever he wants with his money, of
course money moves the earth, that is the only thing that makes women feel
romantic. For so long women have placed a lot of burdens on men, but men are
not going to accept the blame of women’s failure just because they can’t put
their lives together to find themselves a decent man. A woman will shame a man
just because he’s earning the same amount as her in the same office or even
less, he’s not on the same level as she.
Q.
Ladies: If a woman shames you as a man for earning the same
amount as her in the same office or even shames you for earning less than her,
then you are just lowering yourself by talking to such women. If you understand
that what you earn doesn’t represent your life goals, then you’d look for women in a higher class.
Why are you looking for women earning peanuts? Lol… You are too afraid.
A.
Guys: And that will be the greatest mistake a guy will
ever make thinking that he can cope with looking for women in a higher class in
Africa. It applies only if they both grew successful together, but sometimes
the woman leaves the man behind after she becomes more successful than him then
she will start looking for ‘the game changer’ like you said in your previous
question. Women are over-ambitious and they always outsmart men when it comes
to playing the ambition games, then they only end up hitting brick wall. Many
of these ‘women of high class’ have left one guy before somewhere in search of
their ‘game changer’, and still in search after many years and yet still single
and searching, while the men they left behind are already married with kids.
Q.
Ladies: Most men do not want to learn, they think they can
figure things out, so they keep walking around afraid within, not nearing good
women but rather having sex with low class girls up and down. Then after a
while they settle in marriage then continue searching and philandering. After
they die with loads of regret, the cycle continues. Most times they won’t even
tell a younger man their failures, so the younger men are going to repeat the
pain of low self-esteem. Masculinity should make a man confident not jittery. Do
you realize a man is a leader in a relationship? Men should go for exactly what
they want. Don’t assume anything and never try.
A.
Guys: It depends on what you mean by low class, a man
prefers a woman with a good heart to ‘a woman of high class’ who is
hot-tempered and no humility, a woman who is only good on the outside. Ever
since there is this thing called feminism it has always been women’s world
against men’s, have you come to ask yourself why there are more widows than
widowers? Our men are dying in silent just because they married one bad woman
who doesn’t give him the peace of mind he hopes to get as a married man. Speaking
of ‘women of high class’, a man chooses to marry out of love, he supports his
wife’s political career and she becomes successful, all of a sudden she’s now a
‘woman of high class’ and start to treat her husband like a low class, later
she divorces her husband, this is a real life experience.
Q.
Ladies: It pains us women, so we want to begin a
sensitization to save just a negligible percentage, so we don’t waste a whole
generation.
A.
Guys: Good luck to that…
Q.
Ladies: More men who know what they want need to rise for
Africa to rise. The trend we see is more male fail across the world and the
rise and rise of single motherhood and children without love and no father-role
models.
A.
Guys: Whatever choice a man makes as regards to who he
chooses as his wife is what he wants and not whatever you choose otherwise for
him, when it comes to matters of the heart nobody make a choice for anyone as
to whom they want to spend the rest of their lives with. And as for your choice
of good and resourceful/women of high class, it’s a man’s choice of whom he
chooses. A woman can be highest of all classes, have all the college degrees,
have all the moneys and all the achievements in the world that every woman can
only dream about having, but if she doesn’t truly recognize that a man is
positioned to be the head, then she is not worthy to be a wife. A man should
value his peace of mind and be contended with what he has. I think there are
fewer men than women; it’s not about rise and rise of single motherhood, men
are just limited. And we urge you women to stop selling these girls’ scout
cookie ideas of men knowing what they want before they start causing more harm
than good.
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