Hi Hplus,
I used to be fun lover, I rocked life to its fullest
back then because I loved parties, and ladies night outs, hanging out with
couple of friends, I loved night life too but since I got married it all
changed, my life has been so boring.
I met my husband 2 years ago through a friend while
I was doing my NYSC program in Abuja, back then he was just another guy trying
to date my friend Rose but she was already in a serious relationship with her
UK based guy who has promised to return to the country to meet her parents for
her igba-nkwu.
I met him when he invited Rose for a birthday party
so she decided to bring me along. We had a group chat at the party and this guy
started to develop interest in me, long story short he took it up from there and
then we started dating. We dated for almost a year before we got married.
Before we got married he made me have an agreement
with him to lose all my friends and stay away from fun places, it was a
difficult decision to choose in-between because am a flamboyant person. I am a
party lover and I don’t understand why my man will not see it as a hobby, I
don’t know what he is so afraid of, is it that other men will come and snatch
me away from him? Or is he trying to be stingy that am going to finish his money?
He will keep saying that it is only irresponsible people that live that kind of
life, and I only ask who gets paid these days for being a good girl?
I get bored so easily now imagine me sitting alone
doing nothing in the house with no friends, nowhere to go. This is not getting
any good for our marriage, and to top it all up I am already 2 weeks pregnant
and I haven’t told him yet because when he finds out he will add more
restraints to his rules. I wanted to start a business that will at least be
taking me out of the house but he does not approve it, he agrees that I will
start a business after I have given him children but in the meantime I should
just be sitting around the house and doing nothing.
I want to arrange my life first before giving birth
to my children because I don’t want my kids to have the kind of experience I had
as a child. I came from a broken home and I had three other siblings all are
girls, my mother took custody of all the four girls and my father went ahead to
remarry. My mum was just a petty trader she and my eldest sister had to go
through thick and thin just to put some of us through education and it was hell
in those days, my dad never cared to bother about us, so from what we went
through I don’t think I will ever allow any of my children to pass through the
same thing I did.
I made the mistake of not taking my life so
seriously in the beginning but now I have realized my mistakes and now I wish
to make amends of my life, but I am not willing to be a housewife till I give
birth, I want to take care of my career first before I become a mum because it
will be a big mistake if I give birth without having a proper job. Men are all
scum, they will drag you out of your comfort zone and leave you and bail at the
middle of nowhere so I don’t want to make the same mistake my mother did for
the sake of my unborn children, so right about now I am seriously considering
an abortion.
****Please put yourselves in my shoes before you
judge me.****
Graceh….@gmail.com
Dear Grace,
It is never too late to still pursue your
career after you have given birth, it doesn’t mean that your life has ended
when you have given birth, it will even make you more focused to pursue your
career. Please spare the innocent child and don’t take away the child’s right
to live just because you want to establish your career first before being a
mother. Your husband is still there for you, it’s not like he has already
bailed or willing to bail anytime soon. Please women, do not always anticipate
the worse in your man, thoughts are like seeds planted to in your life. Just speak
to him with understanding and gently tell him what troubles you. A secrete abortion
might ruin your marriage or your life, just thank me later.
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