I Am Confused Over Whom To Choose As My Wife, My Supportive Friend Or My Unsupportive Girlfirend

Dear H Plus,

I am stuck in making the biggest decision of my life. This pretty girl whom is just a casual friend of mine has been so supportive, even though we are not in any romantic relationship, neither does she have any intention of orchestrating a relationship with her supportiveness. Matter of fact she even suspects I have a girlfriend but it hasn’t really bothered her.

We are just friends and we are closer than anybody I have ever been close to, we can talk about anything and still feel comfortable. She has invested in me that in fact I am what I am today because of her but she has never boasted of it, not that she is too comfortable but she has a good heart.

On the other hand is my girlfriend of a two year old relationship which feels like we met a week ago because we see once in a blue moon, by ‘blue moon’ I mean once in 3-4 months though we don’t live too far apart, we live in the same city in Lagos, we talk to each other on phone once in every week or 2 weeks.

I live in Olodi apapa while she lives in Ikoyi and has a comfortable job. So her only excuse is that my apartment is a mess and she does not like the area where I live so apparently it takes her 2 months or 3 to prepare her mind to visit, sometimes it takes up to 6 months.

The thing that bothers me the most is that she has this archaic disbelief that a woman can invest in her man, a belief that is so ancient yet she seems flashy. I don’t know if she is masquerading her stinginess using that theory, matter of fact she gets furious anytime I brought up that subject. Although I am not in support of a woman taking up the responsibility of a man but I believe a woman should invest in her man.

Now the only thing she has ever contributed in my life is her always encouraging words “baby work harder so you can come and pay off my bride price so we can be together” that’s all she cares about.

Now that I am on my both feet and ready to settle down I feel that if I don’t pick my supportive friend over my girlfriend I may live to regret it. Please what can your advice be on this?

K, Lagos

Dear K,

I believe every woman should be supportive of the man, a woman that invests in you as friend will bring open doors to you as a wife, where as a woman who does not think that a woman can invest in her man will only be there to offer you children and more bills, such marriages sometimes suffer financially. Gone are the days when men marry women because of their beauty, men want a woman who have something to offer aside beauty and kids. You should choose your wife based on that.